"Everything you want is on the other side of Fear" ~Jack Canfield
The reality is that fear plays a role in each of our lives in different ways; sometimes subtle, other times crashing down onto everything we set our sights on. It's part of that messy-ness of being a human. However, instead of being angry at fear or pretending we don't have it or running away from it with a box over our heads when it paralyzes us, we have two choices:
Option 1: Face it, become comfortable with it, and confront it head on to break it.
Option 2: Run as fast as you can with your tail between your legs and remain in it's grip with the covers pulled over your head panicking.
The good news is that we can move through fears grip balanced with a touch of grace and quiet strength coupled with the fierceness and bravery of a Rodeo Queen riding the bull to break it.
With vulnerability and openness, I share a few dances with fear that I have faced....
I'll start by confessing that I haven't always been notorious for taking calculated risks in the past. My adventurous & spontaneous nature has led me to some bat shit crazy experiences in my life and when I look back, the one thing that lacked throughout those days was fear. From Kayaking Class V whitewater with deadly consequences to Skiing Steep Avalanche Terrain to jumping on planes to foreign countries without the most sufficient pocket full of cash are a dusting to the many endeavors I look back on going, "WTF Amy, what the hell were you thinking?" I'm sometimes in awe that I'm still alive. Throughout most of my 20's and 30's I was fearless, invincible (in my mind) and certain that things would always work out. Until somewhere around 38 when I woke up to the reality that actually, someday I would die and that someday could be any day.
All of a sudden things got real. I started really valuing myself, my life, my intentions, my purpose, and my direction. Then surprisingly, all of a sudden, everything seemed scary! Like EVERYTHING! The questions, "What do I want to really be doing? Will I ever find true love? Where will I go when I die? What is my purpose and where do I begin?" It's funny to look back on it seeing the switch flip when I started to value life as a treasured gem stone rather than a never ending fairy tale. What I started to recognize as I woke up to pursuing my dreams and what I really wanted was that the fear I faced came from a deeper place. Like the fear of failing, of being rejected, of not being good enough, and of being really seen. That became evident when I decided to start my business and start pushing the limits. Fear was the loudest it had ever been in my life. But I took time to investigate it. To see it. Listen to it. Give thanks for it. And then move forward through it anyway as it shook me to the depths of my core. And guess what? It still does, daily.
Because fear will always be a player in our lives, it never entirely goes away. It's part of this humanness we are made up of, I share with you here, a recent dance with fear. With vulnerability I share. Why? Because vulnerability and being real is scary, so here is me setting the example to you, my readers, to go forth and face fear 🙂
Fear subtly snuck in right around the New Year. 2018 brought my way some really beautiful surprises, one being an amazing man who I have opened my heart to. On top of that incredible blessing, there have been some other big things dancing on the horizon. All creating a subtle pressure that snowballed into fearful thoughts and projections into the future. All of the what if's started to run a muck and suck my optimistic energy into a snowball of terror. Am I on the . right path?What am I doing anyway? What if this amazing man sees too much of me? What if I get hurt? What if, what if, what if???" It was paralyzing. But thank GOD for a few little big events that happened this week that woke me up from the fog of fear that helped me build some serious energy for breakthrough. A wave of confidence struck that helped me lunge forward right into the mess and move through the challenges at hand. And it just came down to doing it and stepping into it even though it was uncomfortable and scary.
To put breaking fear into light, I share with you a huge breakthrough I faced today. After taking a 2 year lapse from Backcountry Skiing, I woke up this morning questioning an invitation to join a group of trusted friends to adventure into the mountains to ski a foot of fresh fallen powder. Every bit of my soul said yes, but there was this terror inside that I had never felt before. What if I get caught in an Avalanche? What if I die? I'll just play it safe and go for a skate-ski. Text sent. Done. Safety in place. I was annoyed at myself for being afraid but collapsed into fear anyway. But thanks to my friend for her relentless encouragement that we would ski conservatively and play it safe, I pulled it together and went for it. It was intense and I felt nauseous all the way to the skin track. However, once we started skinning, it all fell away and I let it go; even the reality that I could die! All because I was out there living and loving what I was doing. Such a reminder that THIS is how we should carry out our days; doing what we love in spite of what scares us! After 5 hours of skinning mountains and skiing powder, we arrived to the truck with big ass smiles on our faces, tired happy bodies, and all of us safe and sound. Sure, there is always the chance for error and shit hitting the fan. But had I let that fear overtake me today, I would have missed out on the most soulful and exciting day that has left me feeling fully alive, inspired, happy, and grateful to be alive!
So I challenge you this week to face one of your fears. What and where are you holding back? Liberate yourself! Face it, question it, confront it and break it! Not easy, but 100% attainable and worth it.
If there is something you want to do, but are afraid to go for it, listen to this to light the fire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmLpvzufJ5s
Happy fearless trail blazing!